


Smart

by AshsHorrorShow



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Crows, Humor, M/M, Pets, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-06 00:45:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16378190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshsHorrorShow/pseuds/AshsHorrorShow
Summary: Edward learns not to underestimate one of Jon's birds.





	Smart

“What is this gentleman’s name?” Edward asked, bending down to look at the large, glossy black bird standing on a perch next to Jonathan’s desk. The bird cocked its head and blinked at him curiously. 

Jonathan didn’t even look up from his work, as he corrected, “She is a _girl_ and her name is Nightmare.” 

Edward rolled his eyes, “Forgive me for my slight against your flying, most-likely parasite ridden bird. May I also ask why she is out of her cage?” 

“Because I don’t like cooping her up in her cage all day. Besides, she knows how to behave,” Jonathan said, still not tearing his eyes away from his work. 

Edward sniffed, “I still don’t know how I feel about a wild animal flying loose in the apartment.”

“First of all, you act as if this is your apartment, when it’s not, and second off, I assure you, that Nightmare is quite well-trained and won’t attack unless I say so.” Then adding a hint of warning in his tone, he said, “However, if you don’t quit yammering and let me finish my work, I will make her do something to you.”

Edward huffed. Standing straight again, he said, “Fine, if my presence is annoying you so much, I am going to the kitchen to make something to eat.” And then, seeing Jonathan scowl, he said, “And you can’t complain about me stealing your food since you’ve been such a rude host to me as it is…” 

“You literally let yourself into my apartment without invitation or warning, Edward,” Jonathan hissed, sounding annoyed. “You’ve been doing it ever since we left Arkham.”

“We don’t need to get into logistics, Jonathan, dear,” Edward chirped, before hurriedly making his way to the safety of Jonathan’s kitchen, in case Jonathan was wanting to make him his next test subject. 

He searched through Jonathan’s sparse supplies, growing more annoyed by the second. Did the man ever go grocery shopping? His available resources were thinned out even more because half of the stuff was expired. Edward shook his head. 

Finally, Edward settled on cooking himself a quick hotdog. Not exactly fine dining, but he was hungry and it would do for now. 

So, he proceeded to make it before sitting down on Jonathan’s table. 

As he was working the nerve to eat the nasty-looking thing, he suddenly heard the sound of wings flapping. Looking up, he nearly leapt out of his skin when Nightmare was suddenly on the table with him, her beady black eyes looking at Edward’s hotdog with interest. 

Edward glared at her, waving his hand saying, “Go! Shoo, bird!” He didn’t exactly like the idea of animals being on the place where he was eating, nor having a creature stare at him longingly while he did. However, Nightmare was not at all phased by his hand. In fact, she even attempted to nip at his fingers, cawing and flapping her wings slightly. 

Annoyed, he turned his attention to Jonathan and called out, “Real smart animal you’ve got here, Jon. She can’t even understand basic commands.”

Jonathan turned his head in annoyance, no doubt probably to lecture Edward for interrupting again. However, that look of annoyance morphed into one of surprise, and then of smugness. Smirking, he coolly said, “Well, Edward, that supposedly dumb animal managed to steal your hotdog right from under your nose.”

Edward immediately looked down and realized with shock that Jonathan was right. At some point, Nightmare had silently crept up to him and pulled the hotdog right from the bun, her beak even having a stripe of ketchup on it. 

“Hey!” Edward protested, instinctively reaching to grab it from her, but Nightmare was already off with her stolen goods, flying back to her perch to no doubt scarf down her prize. 

Jonathan watched her land and said, “Dumb animal, huh, Nygma?”

“Shut up, Jonathan,” Edward hissed.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a cute little quick idea I had and decided to whip up. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> As always, critique is wanted and if you see a mistake, feel free to point it out. 
> 
> Have a great day!


End file.
